Friday, September 18, 2009

Conversations


Jaida Triblet

It’s been ten years since you left me,
I don’t cry anymore.
Although sores are still open,
salted & blistering,
I miss you but I can't find the words to tell you I love you.
Our emotions hang in the air thick and tense like a black cloud darkening this relationship.
I choke on heavy black smoke, Daddy I can't say I love you.
And you can't say sorry, because there’s no reason to apologize, so we continue living this lie,
this pretend 'father-daughter' relationship that so many girls envy,
but they're the lucky ones, can't you see Daddy?

Tear-stained pillows tell my story of sorrow and grief,

Emotions too deep, I know nothing of which I speak.

For all the times I wished I could have danced on your feet,

Or sat on you lap,

Or watched the game with you,

Distant brief memories of my childhood of which I have no recollection,

Daddy do you remember?

Our relationship is a strained one,

We sometimes ride in cars in silence,

I’m thinking of what I should say next,

You’re thinking of what you should have done before.

You see me every day,

Yet I feel like you don’t know me.

The real me, that other side I don’t intentionally hide, but can’t express in your presence.

I see Kendra fronting too,

She’s not herself, she feels awkward.

We cut the tension with swords so thick,

The heavy steel slices our insides.

And out pours every ‘I love you’ I never got to say,

And every ‘I’m sorry’ you never uttered,

And every time I didn’t care if you went or stayed,

And every time I pretended like it didn’t matter…
It’s been ten years since you left.
I don't cry anymore.


2 comments:

  1. Hi girl,

    I love your writing.... great. Your story in your writing say words I wanted to say to my father, :(
    He his around but it feels like we dont even know each other.....
    I will keep reading your work and please keep me posted.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much, really. Im glad my words touched you!

    I would love to follow your blog if you have one, and please don't hesitate to follow mine =]

    take care,

    jr

    ReplyDelete

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